After realizing that one hour and twelve minutes of my life have been stolen from me (why did I agree to review an awful film again?) I have come to a conclusion about this “Maniac Nurses Find Ecstasy” (MNFE). I hate hipsters.
Yes hipsters, it is your fault for this. If it wasn’t for your irony, your “that was so bad that it was good” bullshit then these movies would have been left on VHS to die. Nope, you had to go and find humor in God-awful garbage like this. Damn you! And stop hogging the Frogger machine at Barcade, you stupid hipsters.
Okay, maybe it’s not all hipsters fault and maybe I have deep seeded issues with hipsters that need working through. I still don’t know who would want to watch this movie. Ever. Sure, there are a couple of 80’s-Vanna White type girls showing an occasional tit. That would be nice if I couldn’t see tit in like a half a second on the Internet (quick search took me 2 seconds to find video of a girl dropping a Nerf football out of her snatch. Internet 1 – MNFE 0.) Maybe you enjoy Sexual education-esque films from your middle school years? This might be right up your alley. There’s about 50 minutes of narration explaining what is happening, the psychological makeup of these Maniac Nurses, and just general life lesions that one would learn from trampy, sadistic, murdering, lesbian nurses. Actually, I think they just dress like nurses – I didn’t see a degree on any walls.
The plot (for those that care) is pretty simple. By simple I mean batshit insane. The head maniac has a daughter (possibly played by a beat up Anna Kournikova) who is totally fucked up (and maybe 6 months younger than the mom, but this is not addressed.) The head maniac and her merry band of maniacs go killing and butchering randomly yet there is tension because the love robot is being built solely for the daughter and not for all the maniacs to share. Wacky hyjinx ensue, heads explode, the daughter finds out who her mother is, goes nuts, kills everyone, walks off the compound in her skanky underwear, end scene. That’s a recipe for awesome!
If you still have to see this movie, you can rent it on Netfilx. It is SO available.
Stuipd fucking hipsters.
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Many years ago, this film whipped me in record time. I had to shut off the DVD when the guy got impaled by the lawn dwarf, which I think happens twelve minutes into the film. I did eventually man up and finish it. I'm not sure how.
ReplyDeleteYou know it's a bad film when Troma, a company devoted entirely to making turds sound interesting, has to resort to the line "Filmed in Hungary - the birthplace of Franz Liszt!"